When Life Hands you Lemons…

you curl up in a ball and cry

thow them out wish they were limes to use in Coronas

wonder what the hell you are going to do with all these damn lemons!

I know what you thought I was going to say…the whole lemonade thing.  Well, I’m really not one of those optimist types.   I’m a pessimist in disguise.   My life seems to be one giant lemon right now.   Writing about how awesome my birthday was must have been the universe’s signal to start sending in the trials of Job (sorry for all the mixing and mingling of metaphors). 

Since Tuesday (7/21) the following things have happened at chez Sunshine:

• Minivan–Does not start.  Repair estimated to be over $1000. 
• Oven coil–sparking and needs to be replaced
• Vacuum–engine burning, no suction, & no back wheels making pushing actual exercise
• Air conditioner unit–leaking water caused by a huge blockage of dust and grime.  This problem was fixed at least temporarily.  
• Our house is a damn mess.  There is stuff every where.  People (ok, even me) drop things where ever and don’t put anything away
• Going to have to find a part time job or even worse attempt to compete for a teaching job that I don’t really want to pay for the damn replacement minivan. 
• I have a giant cold sore the size of Montana on my lowe lip.  It is hurting and making me irritable. 
• Some unwanted and gross pests have returned after I thought they were gone for good. 

So things could be worse, right?   Well, with my luck right now I’d rather not see about that.  The hidden pessimist comes out.   I tried being positive and look-at-all-I-do-have on Friday and frankly it didn’t make me feel better.     I KNOW I need to thankful that everyone I love is safe and healthy and reasonalby happy…but still I am getting dragged down. 

Even doing something I love is making me think about all this negative crap.  For example, I checked out Julie & Julia by Julie Powell yesterday.  It is a great book–funny and insightful.  I am laughing out loud, that’s how great it is.   But as I read it, I think of how this woman did something.  She did something with her life.   There are those kinds of stories all over the place.  People doing what they love and making money or just being happy.   What do I have like that?   Nothing.   I’ve created nothing.   I have no discernable talent(s).   I have no drive to “become” something.   I feel stuck and all the appliances and machines in my life have only reinforced that feeling.   I’m jealous of all the greatness around me.   Petty yes.  

So, what the hell am I going to do with all these lemons?  I don’t know.   I am hoping that by writing all this down, I will look back on this week and recognize the good that came from it.